childbirth, crazy, dream

I Dream Of Babies

I dream a lot.  Usually my dreams make me sound like a crazy person when I tell people about them, and for all I know this one will too, but I am going to share it anyways.  Because anyone reading this blog already questions my sanity.

As far as I can remember my dream started with me trying to push out a baby.  I was at Bella Vie Gentle Birth Center and the midwife I went and talked to there (about 2 years ago at a pre-conception consultation because I really wanted to see the place.  It is really awesome!) was my midwife.  I was struggling to get the baby out, and it hurt.  So I decided I wanted a c-section.  But not because I was not willing to handle the pain (which wasn’t that bad, in my dream it just felt like pressure,
 but hey I have never given birth, my brain has no frame of reference) I was SURE I was hurting the baby.

After all the baby was kicking every time I started pushing.  It was kind of creepy, because I could tell where the baby’s leg and foot were, by feeling it under my belly.  But every time I tried to push the baby would kick, so I was terrified I was hurting it.  I walked around, and tried different positions, but still no luck.

This dream was realistic, as I was worried about the possibility of a c-section, and about the cost of paying for the midwife/birth center and surgery/doctor/hospital.  It felt like it was happening, and it wasn’t non-nonsensical like most of my dreams.

I didn’t wake up directly after the dream, although I have no idea if it had an actual ending or just an abrupt cut off.  If I had woken directly up, I am sure I would have been REALLY disappointed that it wasn’t real.

I have had quite a few baby dreams, some that were nice, and some that made no sense at all and were almost scary.  One nice one was that I was breastfeeding, but as with this birth dream, it wasn’t working out so well, so I was trying to get the doctor’s office to give me goat’s milk for the baby.

I like to think of everything as a sign that I am pregnant, but since I am on day 12 of bleeding I highly doubt it.  Its like a one in a million (billion?) chance, but still, I mean why else would I dream of giving birth?  Oh, maybe because I think about babies/birth all the time?  Whatever.

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