A lot of people that are trying to have a baby don’t tell everyone. I guess they don’t want everyone to know, or its embarassing or something.
I on the otherhand tell anyone who asks if I have kids/why don’t I have kids. I’m afraid if I don’t people will think I am one of “those” people. You know, the ones who don’t want kids, or want to have tons of money before they have kids. I am most certainly NOT like that. In fact I have wanted kids since before I was even having sex, which would have been pretty difficult to accomplish.
I understand that not everyone wants kids. However, I wonder about the priorities of such people. The only people that I have heard say they don’t want kids are people who then say that they want freedom to do whatever then want, whenever they want, or that they enjoy having lots of money and not having to spend it on kids.* These people strike me as selfish. If someone said they didn’t want kids because they were uncomfortable with children, or they wanted to do missions work or serve God in someway that having children would impede, that I would understand. I mean, I don’t want to raise my kids in a third world country. But the people who want money and freedom over a family generally make me uncomfortable. Granted, these people that don’t want kids probably shouldn’t have them, but it still bothers me in my close-minded little world.
So I don’t want people to associate me with the super selfish folks who don’t want kids. I also don’t want them to think I am waiting until I am 40 and established in my career (by the way, I don’t have a career, I baby-sit which is not leading to any promotions so this would be a really dumb reason not to have a kid) because that is just so unlike me. My priority is to be a good wife and a good mother. I don’t want people to think my priorities are elsewhere.
Maybe I make people uncomfortable when I tell them I have been trying for 3 years or so, but I don’t really care. The fact that I have been trying for years make ME uncomfortable. Some people don’t like the advice that people give you when they find out you are trying to have a baby. I appreciate it. Hey, maybe they will know something I don’t. I really doubt it, given all the information I have read and book I own on the subject, but you never know!
*Maybe the people that say that they enjoy the money and freedom are actually covering up for the fact that they can’t conceive…