Every month (or cycle really because my periods do not run with the calendar, or even the lunar phases) I get hopeful that this was the month. I’m just sure that this is the month that we got the eggie.
Well for the last 40 cycles I have been wrong. It get a little bit annoying. Actually its pretty much the worst thing that happens to me every month.
I get so many symptoms: tired, nauseated, sore swollen feeling boobs, super hungry. I am pretty darn sure they are all in my head. Because until I started trying for a baby, I had pretty non-eventful periods, and pretty much no PMS. Now I have PMS like crazy (my poor husband has to listen to me scream and cry all day about 4 days before my period starts). I think my body knows that it didn’t get pregnant and is mad.
So starting in around October (depending on finances, which are always a problem for us) we are going to start going to a fertility specialist. Sounds super fun. I’m going for sarcasm, but its pretty hard to convey that through typing. I am NOT looking forward to this. First of all, the doctor is a man, which makes me pretty uncomfortable, I prefer lady doctors for the poking and proding if it has to be done at all. Secondly, its a pretty unromantic way of making a baby. Not that I am a romantic type person, but getting pregnant from a cathetar on a table is a not really the way I figured I would make a baby. That and its pretty expensive, and only has a 15% success rate each cycle. And twins (or triplets or quads) are such a higher risk with fertility medication. Super scary! Actually I wouldn’t mind twins, to make up for lost time, but anything higher is terrifying. Especially since I am planning on a natural birth at home with a midwife. I will tell you all about my thoughts on natural childbirth soon, I’m sure.
So if I could just get pregnant in the next couple months and avoid the whole thing I would REALLY appreciate it. Prayers are greatly appreciated!